In business, you often need to achieve your objective and secure the best possible terms. How can you do that without relying on pressure tactics or manipulation? Internationally recognized negotiation expert Adam Dolník explains what every manager should know about negotiation.
Negotiation Is…
Communication with the purpose of influencing others. We negotiate every day—whenever we need someone to do what we want them to do. Most people rely on intuition and personal experience when negotiating. However, many of the tools of effective negotiation are far from intuitive, and experience alone, without a conceptual framework, has limited value. Fortunately, negotiation is a skill that can be learned and continuously improved.
It’s Not About Us
If we want to influence another person, we must do so in the context of what matters to them—not what we consider important. Arguments based on our own logic may make perfect sense to us, but they will always have only limited impact on the other side.
80:20
The best source of information about what matters to another person is the person themselves. That is why a good negotiator listens 80 percent of the time and speaks only 20 percent of the time. Elite negotiators hear not only what the other side says and how they say it, but also what they do not say. They can hear the emotions behind the words and uncover the underlying issues without creating pressure.
Most of us, unfortunately, spend negotiations talking—trying to demonstrate how smart we are and how right we are. Listening, however, is a superpower. In addition to uncovering hidden information, it helps build relationships and de-escalate negative emotions.
Negotiation Is Not a Contest
Negotiation is often viewed as a battle over limited resources, where one side’s gain comes at the other side’s expense. In some negotiations—such as ransom negotiations with kidnappers—that is indeed the case. Most business negotiations, however, involve far more than price. They include a range of interests that can be leveraged constructively.
A skilled negotiator not only secures the largest possible share when dividing the proverbial pie but also uses differences in interests and preferences to make the pie itself as large as possible.
When Two Children Fight Over a Toy, the Problem Is Not the Toy
In most business negotiations, the primary obstacles to agreement are not transactional calculations. More often, they are hidden interests such as mutual distrust, fear of losing, or concerns about losing face.
A good negotiator can identify these barriers and overcome them in ways that often cost very little while creating significant value.
Limited Time
Alongside dependency on the other party, time pressure is one of the greatest sources of stress in negotiations. Good negotiators do not succumb to ultimatums, nor do they create unnecessary time pressure for themselves.
As the saying goes: “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.” If you want to get somewhere quickly, you must proceed deliberately. Moving slowly allows the process to run smoothly, and when things run smoothly, they ultimately move faster.
The Strength of Your Negotiating Position
How we perceive our negotiating position is closely linked to how dependent we feel on the other side. When we have few alternatives to reaching an agreement, it is easy to feel that we hold the weaker hand.
Experienced negotiators understand, however, that a lack of alternatives is not necessarily a critical disadvantage if the other side faces the same situation. A good negotiator therefore works not only to strengthen their own position but also to reduce the attractiveness of the other side’s alternatives.
Source: Kristýna Tmejová, Staff Writer, Forbes Czech Republic
